Recently I got tired. I'm talking really burned-out dog-tired. Everything was an effort. It was like walking through mud. During the day, things seemed alot more difficult than normal. Forget getting a second wind after work to build an e-commerce business. And working out? Not happening. I beat myself up the whole time. "How can I be so lazy?" "Why can't I get my butt in gear?" "I AM SUCH A LOSER!!!!" Mighty Petunia is all about catching the motivational bus and I couldn't even find the bus stop!
So, I sat myself down to figure out what the deal was. Here's what I got to... I WAS TIRED. Period. The End. Nothing fancy. I had been fitting a lot of work into each day. I hadn't been planning my days out to make time for workout, family, friends. I just got up in the morning and let the day push me around. And, business tended to make the most noise so it got the most attention...from the time I woke up in the morning until the time I went to bed. It was too much. All work and no play makes Mighty Petunia a tired woman.
How did I fix it? I rested. And rested. I took a full week and consciously focused on not working so much. Not a vacation mind you. I had a pretty grueling week at my full-time job but I didn't work on Mighty Petunia at all. I didn't work on social media. I didn't read motivational stuff. I just checked out of Mighty Petunia for a week. Guess what happened? Nothing. Mighty Petunia didn't collapse. It didn't fail. It was fine. But, one morning, I woke up ready to go. I had my second wind. I had a zillion ideas. I started an activity journal to keep track of all that is going on so I don't have to waste energy keeping track of everything in my head. I made decisions that I had put off because I didn't have the energy to make them. I delegated more. I started being more protective of my energy...viewing it as a limited resource. I made more conscious decisions about where I wanted to spend my energy. And, I have been rewarded with renewed energy. A second wind.
I think we tend to think of a second wind as something that we need when we're doing something physical. Something that requires breath. But, I think we can similarly need a mental second wind. So the next time you find yourself burned-out dog-tired and struggling through the day, give yourself permission to take a break for however long it takes. You will get your second wind.
If truth be told, I've tried yoga a few times. Ok... a lot of times. And each time, I decide I'm just not a yoga person. I have lots of reasons. Yoga isn't fast enough. My mind wanders too much. I'm bored. Well, I tried it again today and learned something about myself. I'm a yoga weinie. I SAY it's because yoga isn't fast enough. I SAY it's because my mind wanders. I SAY it's because I'm bored, but the realization I had today as I was in Child's Pose while everyone else was perfectly emulating the instructor's pose (which wasn't Child's Pose), is that I hate being inept. Ten minutes into the class I'm sweating like a dog ("Why is no one else sweating like me? I'm so out of shape."). I'm the only one that has to use the blocks because my hammies are so tight that I can't reach the floor ("I'm getting so old. I should have taken better care of myself.") I have no idea what 80% of the poses are so I get frustrated. But here's the crazy thing. I got through the class! It wasn't pretty. It wasn't elegant. And, even though I started out a yoga wienie, at the end I felt freaking AWESOME! Maybe it was the equivalent of a runner's high...is there a yoga high? But, for the rest of the day, I felt super!
I've thought about this experience all day and wondered what else my negative self-talk is preventing me from experiencing? Golf is a perfect example. My husband and I used to play together alot. And then he got good. I'm talking really good. So I quit. Yep, I'm a golf wienie. Golf had become a 4 hour opportunity to tell myself how terrible I was because I couldn't compete with my husband. I'd come off the course feeling frustrated and resentful that he had spent several years working on his golf game and had the nerve to get better! So in addition to taking away a great reason to be outside for 4 hours on a beautiful day, I also spent less time with my husband doing something fun.
So, here's the plan. I got a 2 week pass to a local yoga studio and I'm trying 4 different yoga classes (not hot yoga though..how in the world do people do that?) and work on enjoying the experience and keeping the self-talk to a minimum. I've also decided to get back out on the driving range and practice green after dinner a couple nights a week to work on my game. I think I'm even going to suggest date night each week over the summer be a round of golf. My husband may stroke out.
Are there things in your life that negative self-talk is stopping you from achieving participating in or enjoying? What would you do or try if you weren't so tough on yourself? It won't be easy. But when I think about how great I will feel when I can be at the front of the yoga class and not in the last row or how nice it will be walking out on the golf course with my hubby on a beautiful summer evening the effort it will take seems worthwhile. What's your plan?