After finishing up the first year of implementing a lifestyle change-an eating and workout program-I hit the wall. And I didn't even see it coming.
After a great vacation on the Buckeye Cruise for Cancer and then a 2 week business trip out of the country, I had been spotty at best on compliance and worked out when I could. Once I got back to the USA, I was happy to get back on plan since I missed "normal" food. But that only lasted for a couple days. Jet lag was TERRIBLE this time and I reached for sugar and caffeine to cope. That put me in a downward sugar-spiral that got worse and worse. My body felt like crap, my mind was tired and I felt like a failure. I got to the point I had to ask for help. Not something that comes easily for me-or alot of us for that matter. I reached out to my coach (Mark) at LBC and he helped me get back on track. I spoke to him via email and now I am having a much better time of it. Just having someone to talk to about it made a difference.
Moral of the story...asking for help to attain goals can be difficult but helpful. We all want to be strong and self-sufficient but sometimes that can work against us in the long run. Everyone is going to hit the wall some time. It's how you handle it that is the difference between success and failure. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength.
The other day, I worried myself sick. Literally. I had so much on my mind...work, family, Mighty Petunia!! My mind was a whirl wind and going 24/7 for several weeks. And you can only do that for so long. So, my mind and body cried UNCLE and I ended up sick for 2 days. It gave me some time to think about how I had gotten myself to that point.
The answer, which became clear after alot of really bad TV, a crying jag, and several hours laying on the bed staring at the ceiling, is (drumroll please) misplaced priorities. It's that easy. I make everyone else's problems, my problems. Then I ignore what keeps me healthy and happy so I can REALLY focus on their issues, and then I drive myself into the ditch. Sound familiar?
So this is my new plan. When I am getting so wrapped up in other people's "stuff", I'm giving myself 30 minutes a day to think about all the issues floating around. 30 minutes of uninterrupted, focused or unfocused (whichever my mind wants) thinking. No cell phone or distractions. I will let my mind go where it wants to go. I can think worse case scenario. I can think best case scenario. I can think what if. I can try to solve the problem or just feel really badly for the person going through whatever it is. And then, after that 30 minutes, I am putting a lid on that box until the next day.
Then, for the rest of the day and night, I will do what keeps me healthy and happy. I will workout on the days I am supposed to workout. I won't move workout to another night so that I can spend the evening worrying! I will move prepping my food back to a priority and other things will be placed around it. I will go to bed without worrying that I should be staying up to think more about all the problems. Why? Because I can be a much better mom, wife, friend, employee and boss when I am taking care of myself. We have all been trained that as women our job is to take care of others. Even to the detriment of ourselves and that just isn't right. I can't take care of those important to me if I am laying in bed, sick with worry.
Gotta go. Need to spend 30 minutes worrying about my kid who is making a big move to Florida at the beginning of August! Then it's off to play some golf with my hubby.
Do you think negative self-talk and self-doubt is a gym-only problem? Right. It's not. If you do it in the gym, on a run, or on the Precor, you're probably doing it at other places. I started noticing other areas of my life that sneaky little voice invades and I've decided to do something about it.
Have you ever started a sentence at work with "this may be a dumb idea but...". How about "this may sound crazy but...". I noticed men and women do it. So, it's not a woman only thing. But I've observed that women do it more. And it unintentionally conveys a lack of confidence. And if you don't believe what your saying, why would or should anyone else? Which makes a person sound more confident: "this may sound crazy but why don't we let our customers know about our new strategy?" or "Letting our customers know about our new strategy will have a direct effect on our business."? Of course it's the second one (see how confident that sounded?).
In the gym or working out, the voice will sound differently, but have the same effect. If your legs hear (yes, they can hear) " I really hate squats. They make my legs hurt. I can't walk the next day. I really don't want to do them" then how good will the squats be? Exactly. Not great. But if your inner voice is cheering them on "Ok legs. It's leg day. Let's go kick some butt. My legs are going to feel awesome after this workout. Ok, tired, but awesome!" Your leg day will go and feel much better. Try it. It works. But not on burpees. Nothing works on burpees!
Awareness is the key. Start listening to your inner voice. What kinds of messages are you getting from it? Supportive? Encouraging? Is it your cheerleader? If not, get to work on it like you would a muscle. The more you work it out in a positive, self-supporting way, the more natural it will become. In all areas of your life.
Why is it so hard for us to see ourselves as other see us?
This morning, my daughter came into my bathroom as I was getting ready for work. I was in my underwear putting on my makeup. She looked at me and said "Mom, you could definitely wear a 2-piece this summer". She knows that one of my goals is to be able to wear a 2-piece to the pool again. Ok, I'll admit it, sometimes I think that at 52 my 2-piece days may be over but, then I think, why not?! Well, she wasn't kidding. She meant it. But instead of saying thank you and being happy, I went on to point out all the reasons I couldn't wear a 2-piece. Not one of my prouder mommy moments!
Later in the day, a friend commented about a picture I had posted on Facebook. It was a photo of me wearing one of the Mighty Petunia tees dressed up with a leopard belt, skinny jeans and hot pink heels. She told me how great I looked. What did I say? Something like "oh, you know, everyone looks good in skinny jeans".
Later that evening, my daughter and I were talking about my reactions that day. And she said "Mom, why can't you just say thank you?". Great question. Thank you Lexa.
I'm not used to people noticing what I look like. I'm uncomfortable even telling this story! But, it's a goal of mine now, that when someone pays me a compliment, to say thank you and enjoy the good feeling that comes with the compliment. I'll let you know how it goes.