I've really been struggling with what to blog about recently. Mostly because I didn't want to come clean about my recent struggles. But then I thought, what a freaking hypocrite I am. I have a motivational Facebook site, blog and apparel business that encourages others to keep going. Keep at it. Never give up. And somehow that doesn't apply to me??!! That I have it all figured out (NOT) and that when I hit rough sailing, I need to hide instead of deal. I don't think so. That is definitely not who I want to be.
In Spring of 2013 I started a plan that worked for me. I was inspired, motivated, worked hard at it. (Isn't that a great feeling?!) Got through the holidays, traveled, vacationed. Actually was starting to like my middle section and didn't pull away from my husband when he ran his hand over my belly! I thought I had it all figured out. Until the summer of 2014 came around. I was pretty stressed out and resorted to old (bad) habits to deal with the stress. (EVERYONE knows that SUGAR makes stress go away) Then I went down the rabbit hole. The one that starts with "I suck" and ends with "so I should just keep up with this damaging behavior that makes me feel like crap, because...I suck". It's that cycle that feeds on itself and doesn't stop until I put the brakes on it. And that is haaaaard (said with a little whine in my voice).
So where am I now? I put the weight back on that I lost. My jeans are tight and I am thinking about bringing the fat jeans back out. I feel like crap. Sugar did NOT make the stress go away but did help to make me feel worse!! SO...this morning I woke up and ate breakfast back on my plan. So here I go. I'm back at it. I'm drinking 130 oz of water today. Going to the gym. Getting stocked up at the grocery with all the things that HELP me to feel better. I am scheduling my workouts this week and making them a priority. Because I AM NOT s @#. I am human. I think today I will where my tanks that says "The voice in your head that says you can't do this is a LIAR". As a matter of fact, I may wear that one all week!!